Richard Baxter,A Christian Directoiy: or, Sum ofPractical7heology, and Cases of Conscience, 11.1 (7he Practical Works of the Rev. Richard Baxter [London: James Duncan, 1830], IV, 30).
I take occasion to make the general remark that the great thing I always desired to find was a woman who was a real Christian, who was a real lady, and who was not a fool.AutoBiography (73)
The man whose heart is endeared to the woman he loves, he dreams of her in the night, hath her in his eye and apprehension when he awakes, museth on her as he sits at table, walks with her when he travels and parlies with her in each place where he comes.Thomas Hooker, 7heApplication of Redemption (London: Peter Cole, 1659), 137. Michael A. G. Haykin. The Christian Lover: The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers (Kindle Location 122). Kindle Edition.
In 1950 the average age at marriage was twenty for women and twenty-two for men; by 2019 those numbers rose to twenty-eight for women and thirty for men.Remarriage in Early Christianity, Eerdmans, 7
Language associated with the univira tradition parallels the apostle Paul's in Rom 7:1-3 and 1 Cor 7:39... The wife is subject to the husband while he lives, and only his death brings about freedom. In the tradition of the univira, the wife does not avail herself of that freedom.Remarriage in Early Christianity, Eerdmans, 42
Despite the fact that actual marriages rarely emulated this ideal, during the reigns of Trajan and Hadrian historians and commentators still held concerning the ideal Roman marriage that the wife should be married only once during her lifetime and praised as a univira, that the wife should obey her husband, and that the marriage would last a lifetime and be brought to an end by spousal death alone, if even then.Remarriage in Early Christianity, Eerdmans, 41
For many ancient Romans the marital union remained permanent, even in the face of the death of a spouse. The eternal union would survive deathRemarriage in Early Christianity, Eerdmans, 38
As a rough generalization historical Jesus researchers and early Christian specialists working in the ante-Nicene (and even post-Nicene) period are more likely to affirm that early ecclesiastical authors denied the possibility of remarriage after divorce while the former spouse still lived.Remarriage in Early Christianity, Eerdmans, 12
Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take
primary responsibility for Christlike servant-leadership, protection, and provision in the home.
Submission is the divine calling of a wife to honor
and affirm her husband's leadership, and help carry it
through according to her gifts.
It is clear that sexual and gender identities now trump family identity. The state is not only increasingly pitting these two forces against each other, but it seems ready and willing to step in and enforce the subjugation of the family to the autonomous sexual self.
Denominations and Christian organizations have often failed to state that procreation is a definitive part of marriage. Marriage ought to be many things - exclusive and permanent among them. But is the procreative nature inherent in heterosexual coupling that is marriage's defining characteristic.Deep Discipleship, 97
The Puritan ethic of marriage was first to look not for a partner whom you do love passionately at this moment but rather for one whom you can love steadily as your best friend for life, then to proceed with God's help to do just that.
Housewives depend on their husbands for "mile-markers" to avoid getting discouraged.
Let me explain.
I ran a 10k a few years back, and there weren't any mile-markers until the third mile, which is about halfway through the 6.2 miles you are running.
When I saw that marker, I realized I had been pacing myself wrong and still had a long way to go.
It was discouraging, but I changed my approach and finished the race.
Having a marker every half mile from the beginning would have been more encouraging.
Similarly, a housewife's life can feel like running a 10k without mile markers.
It's easy to think you're not making progress and are miles away from the finish line.
I've found that it is helpful to routinely remind my wife how the work she is doing in a particular area is moving us towards the "finish line" in that area.
I want her to see that her efforts are accomplishing something, preventing her from losing heart and helping her pace herself.
For example...
If her goal is to get the house in order, remind her that being 50% done is a significant achievement, and you appreciate it.
If her goal is to help a child read well, remind her that the child is making progress and can read some words.
By identifying the finish line, you can come up with mile markers.
This is why a man must know where he's leading his family.
I am amazed at the number of intelligent, Jesus-loving, Bible-toting, ministry-minded young men who absolutely refuse to grow up and take a wife! It is as though there was a new book of the Bible discovered (I call it 2 Hesitations) that reads, "Thou shalt not marry prior to graduate school, or at least until you have a middle-class income and a 401(k)." The only thing worse is looking into the eyes of the scores of young women who ask me what they have to do to get these guys to man up and marry them.Family Driven Faith
I believe that marriage is far more important than college. Moreover, I think we lead our children to compromise when we ask them to endure two-year engagements while remaining true to their Christian convictions. If they weren't ready to be married, we shouldn't have allowed the relationship to blossom.Family Driven Faith
That Scripture counsels marriage, however, and never allows any release from the union, is expressly contained in the law: 'You shall not divorce a wife, except for reason of immorality.' And it regards as adultery the marriage of a spouse, while the one from whom a separation was made is still alive. 'Whoever takes a divorced woman as wife commits adultery,' it says; for 'if anyone divorce his wife, he debauches her'; that is, he compels her to commit adultery. And not only does he that divorces her become the cause of this, but also he that takes the woman and gives her the opportunity of sinning; for if he did not take her, she would return to her husbandMiscellanies 2:23:145:3 [A.D. 208]
This we now say, that, according to this condition of being born and dying, which we know, and in which we have been created, the marriage of male and female is some good; the compact whereof divine Scripture so commends, as that neither is it allowed one put away by her husband to marry, so long as her husband lives: nor is it allowed one put away by his wife to marry another, unless she who have separated from him be dead. Therefore, concerning the good of marriage, which the Lord also confirmed in the Gospel, not only in that He forbade to put away a wife, save because of fornication, but also in that He came by invitation to a marriagehttps://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1309.htm#:~:text=This%20we%20now%20say%2C%20that,long%20as%20her%20husband%20lives%3A
It is, in other words, a text of concession, not a text of intention. You do not learn to fly an airplane by following the instructions for making a crash landing; you will not be successful in war if you train by the rules for beating a retreat. The same is true of marriage and divorce. The exceptional measures necessary when a marriage fails are of no help in discovering the meaning and intention for marriage. Jesus endeavors to recover God's will for marriage, not to argue about possible exceptions to it. His opponents ask what is permissible, he points to what is commanded.Pillar Commentary
cross words aren't an indication of a bad marriage. They're an indication that the marriage is between two sinners. Also that there are times when we have to work things through in such a way that we get messy.Daddy Tried, 187
Young Americans, and that includes young Christians, face some very real challenges in moving toward full adulthood, and there is no question that economic factors play a part. But even secular observers understand that a shift in marriage points to an underlying shift in morality. The blunt fact is that previous generations of young adults, facing even greater economic challenges, still found their way to adulthood and marriage.http://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/problem-delaying-marriage/
For the Reformers and those who followed in their steps-such as the Puritans of the seventeenth century and the evangelicals of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries-marriage had an innate excellence, was vital for the development of Christian affection and friendship, and was one of God's major means for developing Christian character and spiritual maturity.The Christian Lover: The Sweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers (Kindle Locations 65-67). Kindle Edition.
Marriage is more than your love for each other. . . . In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal - it is a status, and office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.Letters and papers from Prison
The only way for you to be truly free is to link your feeling to an obligation. Only if you commit yourself to loving in action, day in and day out, even when feelings and circumstances are in flux, can you truly be a free individual and not a pawn of outside forces. Also, only if you maintain your love for someone when it is not thrilling can you be said to be actually loving a person.Meaning of Marriage (97)
When over the years someone has seen you at your worst, and knows you with all your strengths and flaws, yet commits him-or herself to you wholly, it is a consummate experience. To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.Meaning of Marriage (95)
In so many cases, when one person says to another, 'I love you, but lets not ruin it by getting married,' that person really means, 'I don't love you enough to close off all my options. I don't love you enough to give myself to you that thoroughly.' To say, 'I dont need a piece of paper to love you' is basically to say, 'My love for you has not reached the marriage level.'Meaning of Marriage (78)
So what do you need to make marriage work? You need to know the secret, the gospel, and how it gives you both the power and pattern for your marriage. On the one hand, the experience of marriage will unveil the beauty and depths of the gospel to you. It will drive you further into reliance on it. On the other hand, a greater understanding of the gospel will help you experience deeper and deeper union with each other as the years go on.Meaning ofMarriage 47-48
If our views of marriage are too romantic and idealistic, we underestimate the influence of sin on human life. if they are too preparing and cynical, we misunderstand marriages divine origin. If we somehow manage, as our modern culture has, to do both at once, we are doubly burdened by a distorted vision. Yet the trouble is not within the institution of marriage but within ourselves. meaning of marriage 44